


You can brush my hair

by Proserpineceres



Series: E Mare Libertas [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU, Again, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Legends, M/M, ngl i have a thing for his tears, victor tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-05 05:01:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12787545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proserpineceres/pseuds/Proserpineceres
Summary: Yuuri saw his own face reflected in the troubled waters, the God of the sea was angry, and no fish were to be found.He knew the way to the cave where the monster lived, it wouldn’t be hard for him to find it. ‘Follow the path of silver,’ was what his father had told him.





	You can brush my hair

The children gathered around the elders to hear stories; legends singing the wonders of the end of the world. Chanting about the bravery of voyagers or whispering to them about how the moon ended up in the sky, as if it were a secret.

Yuuri listened to these, quietly enjoying the warmth of the fire on his hands.

“A boy used to live here, in this village,” started one of the oldest men of the village. He was standing next to Yuuri’s father. “He was arrogant, and full of himself, and played mercilessly with the hearts of his peers but he was so beautiful no one could help but fall for his charm.

Along the years, he was courted by many but never accepted to marry. His father, rightfully upset by the stubbornness of his son, commanded him to bind himself to the next person who would present themselves at their threshold, asking for his hand.”

Yuuri knew this legend, it was a well known story in his village. He had heard it countless of times already. Each time was different as each story-teller distorted the story to make it their own. This version already sounded especially hard on the protagonist, almost as if the man retelling the story was angry at him. But then again, the banquet had been sober tonight because of the lack of food. The man had reasons to be angry.

“Graced by the kindness of the Gods, the following day, a Crane Spirit came to their house, bewitched by the beauty of the young man, and claimed him as his husband to be. It was an honour and the spirit would have granted security and prosperity to the whole village for months, or at least for as long as his love for the human would have lasted. But the foolish boy was so in love with the idea of love that he kept refusing to take a spouse, and by doing so he mocked his duty, and soiled the word of his father.”

Yuuri felt pained for this boy. They had had so many expectations for him just because he was born beautiful. It was unfair, he would have hated drawing that much attention to himself without doing anything to get it.

Yuuri knew he would not have had this problem. He was only twelve, but he already knew he was painfully average and would never have to run away from an army of heartbroken admirers.

He wasn’t paying much attention to the story anymore, he didn’t really like this part. The boy did run away to avoid the wrath of his father and the spirits, but he hadn't been fast enough. His father had pushed him in the water, and as he had tried to hold on to the boat to escape the violent waves, his own father had broken his fingers. He hadn’t been able to do anything but fall and become part of the ocean itself.

Yuuri shivered, he really hated this part. But the elder kept going:

“He was in pain, the waves were swallowing him whole. Water filled his lungs and dragged him to the ocean bank; Strands of his long hair getting caught in a crevasse, preventing him from escaping from a place where the sun couldn’t reach. After decades away from the sun, his skin became pale and the tides washed away all colour from his hair. The darkness of the depths turned his eyes blue and glazed, unable to bear the bright light of the surface anymore.”

The man had deepened his voice, as he often did for the scariest parts of his stories, and the younger children shivered, picturing the colourless monster crawling under their feet.

He finally concluded the legend by reciting the curse the spirit had cast upon the deserter. Everyone in the village already knew it, and some people whispered along with the man:

 _“In the abyss you are banished,_  
_For your humanity has vanished,_  
_Alone in your selfishness…”_

He looked like he wanted to add something, but he stayed quiet. There seemed to be nothing to add at that point. Yuuri knew a verse was missing, everyone knew that. But no one could tell the end for sure. It was a common game amongst the kids to try to guess it.

His father had already met him, the monster. When anger filled his heart, he trapped all the fishes of the ocean in his hair and someone from the village had to spend three long days and nights combing his hair to calm him down, as his wounded hands were unable to do it.

Yuuri knew that if he wanted to ask how the curse ended he would have to wait until his turn to calm the anger of the drowned spirit cursing the ocean, came.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri saw his own face reflected in the troubled waters, the God of the sea was angry, and no fish were to be found.

He knew the way to the cave where the monster lived, it wouldn’t be hard for him to find it.

‘Follow the path of silver,’ was what his father had told him.

His father was usually the one sent to calm the ocean, but he was starting to get too old. Not that he was especially weak or of a very advanced age, but the task demanded tremendous stamina. Diving to the bottom of the sea, finding the cave underwater, and spending three days in said cave brushing the endless hair of a monster to free the fishes. And, of course, he couldn’t bring food with him.

He felt his heart tighten in his chest at the thought, and after a last look in his parent’s encouraging eyes, he took a deep breath and submerged himself in the icy water. There was no sound, and looking back he could see the surface disappearing bit by bit with each meter he crossed.

He was used to it. Coming from a fisher village they often dived quite deep to get shells but this time he was in the water for a completely different reason. He did what he had learnt to avoid as a kid, what the elders had warned all children against.

He followed the silver path.

The sun was already high in the sky despite the early hour and its light was painting with the shape of water, the patterns of the waves covering the thin sand. As he swam in the direction of the cave the strands of hair increased, and he could see the dozens of fishes struggling in the silvery webs around him. He decided to take one last look at the sun before diving back into the water, swimming to the direction of the cave.

On his way, he noticed few strands stuck in a crevasse, confirming the legend he had been listening to his whole life. If everything else was true he was afraid of what he would encounter there. The mere idea of broken hands, and empty eyes of the creature made him shiver. But he wouldn’t turn back. Not only because his village needed him to do this but also because giving up so easily wasn’t a habit of his.

The cave was deep, and each was movement taking him farther and farther from the surface, plunging him in greater darkness, and making his lungs scream. He could barely make out the entrance of the tunnel leading to the creature’s den. He managed the last meter by pulling at the hair he could grab. When he broke through the surface, he gladly accepted all the air he could manage to inhale, gulping in mouthfuls. After the few seconds he needed to allow himself to feel a bit less dizzy, he blinked, clearing his eyes and finally looking around him. The ceiling of the cave was covered in what he guessed were glow worms, lighting up the cave with a soft blue light, the sound of the sea was echoing against the walls and the floor was covered in smooth boulders polished by water and time. He was so caught up in looking around that he forgot why he was there for a moment.

A small sound snapped him out his thoughts, returning him to clarity. He turned slowly looking for the monster, his eyes following the silvery strand he was still holding, and then he saw him.

He was a blinding white spot in the middle of the gloomy cavern.

Yuuri had expected an angry monster but instead he found a young man covered by his hair, looking at him with his pale, ghostly eyes. He looked weak and Yuuri tried to not look afraid, even when he saw the wounded hands of the monster. He went out of the water to join the creature on solid ground.

His eyes were so pale, Yuuri couldn’t help but stare. He had never seen eyes like these before and the colour, or rather the lack of it, was unsettling. He wasn’t sure if his eyes were blind or able to see a plane of existence he couldn’t even fathom.

Could he see what Yuuri was thinking?

As if to answer his mental question, the monster smiled.

“You’re Yuuri aren’t you?”

Of course, he could read every single one of his thoughts. Or maybe his father told the monster his successor’s name last time he came. Both were sensible suppositions considering the situation.

“Yes, my name is Yuuri,” he tried to keep his voice steady, “I thought you would be angry.”

“Oh, I am,” the other answered, still smiling.

Not really what he had expected. Yuuri was already considering giving up trying to guess what would happen next. He just had to assume the monster enjoyed disconcerting his guests with smiles and sharp words.

Almost absently, he realised he had no idea what to to call him. It was probably time to call him something other than the “Monster of the Ocean” especially if they had to spend these three days and nights together.

“And you? What’s your name?”

The monster frowned.

“Oh. I’m not used to that.” The frown marring his face was just as quickly replaced with a smile. “Last time someone said my name it was my father and he was trying to kill me.” How could he still be smiling while saying such things? “It was so long ago. I can’t even remember my name.”

“It would be more convenient if you could,” Yuuri blurted out, unwittingly insensitive. But it didn’t seem to bother the other.

“I’m sure it would be.”

Ah. Not what he had expected at all.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“I don’t mind. What name would you give me?”

He hesitated before speaking.

“What do you think of…” a flash of white from his memory, as clear and clean as fresh snow, a stranger who had visited his village when he was twelve. He could only remember the first thing he had managed to make the villagers understand in his foreign language: his name.

“…Viktor?”

The monster went still for few seconds, as if he was trying to remember something, or just debating whether he liked the name or not before his face lit up.

“Isn’t that the name of your dog?”

 _Was_. But how did he know? It definitely seemed like Viktor could read his mind.

“I’m a very powerful being,” he said with an extremely serious face but there was a glint in his pale eyes that made Yuuri doubt of the seriousness of his statement.  
It was almost annoying at this point, the Monster, or a God upsetting spirit, or Viktor as he could now call him apparently, seemed to know way more than he should about Yuuri. It seemed a little unbalanced, and Yuuri was determined to learn as much as he could about this strange being who apparently delighted in surprising people.

But Yuuri wasn’t here to chat, he had to start working. He drew a comb from his belt, and walked towards Viktor, kneeling in front of him slowly. When he was barely one meter away from him he raised his arm, his fingertips barely grazing the river of silver that was Viktor’s hair.

“May I?” he asked.

Viktor nodded, presenting his back to make Yuuri’s work more convenient. As Yuuri started to brush his hair, Viktor started talking again.

“I had a dog you know.”

Yuuri stilled, trying to remember whether there had been something he heard about it, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure he wanted to remember anything about dogs since the death of his own anyway.

“Well, I really loved her. I’m sure you would have as well. I don’t see how someone could not love dogs. Did you know know- I told my father I would rather marry my dog than whoever he was trying to set me up with. But _damn_ I wasn’t serious.”

He sounded so scandalized that Yuuri couldn’t help but snort a little. Viktor was quiet for a moment, and ot seemed that it was the occasion to ask questions.

“Is that true? That you turned down the Spirit of the Cranes offer?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Yuuri. It was a bird. I won’t fuck a bird.”

“Wait. You mean…?”

“Yes. He had a beak and a stupid feathery cape over his feathery body and he would have gotten tired of me in barely a week anyway.”

“Well, it... Makes sense.”

“Of course it does.” Yuuri didn’t know if he was talking about the first or the second part of his own sentence.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m getting out of here any time soon.”

Yuuri ducked his head, that probably made sense too. But he couldn’t do anything to help him beside brushing his hair and talking with him.

And he did. He spent three days, and three nights combing Viktor’s hair.

Viktor would name each fish, each shell Yuuri would deliver from the strands of hair. Yuuri already knew half of them but the anecdotes and Viktor’s enthusiasm was endearing enough for him to not even think about interrupting him. He told Yuuri about one of the people who had combed his hair before him. The man taught him all these names, but he was already too old when he volunteered to take care of Viktor’s hair and he saw him very few times.

On the second day they found a jellyfish stuck in his locks. Viktor helped Yuuri to put it back into the water without hurting either of them. He then proceeded to explain to Yuuri why jellyfish had feelings and shouldn’t be harmed physically or emotionally. It didn’t matter that they didn’t have eyes, he said passionately, they have conceptual hearts, even if they maybe don’t have physical ones. It was all about compassion. Yuuri listened in fascination as he continued this for a few hours. Listening to him, Yuuri was increasingly convinced that Viktor was his own kind of jellyfish; living in water, probably easier to harm emotionally than people seemed to think and dragging behind a long trail, that could unknowingly hurt others.

Yuuri was getting tired, and hungry, he could only drink the clear water of the flask he brought with him. Viktor refused to have a sip. He probably didn’t need to drink or eat. Or even sleep for that matter, but then again he wasn’t really human.

When he reached the third day he couldn’t say the first two had passed in a heartbeat, even though talking with Viktor was surprisingly easy. His fingers had started hurting, repeating the same movements over and over again, and his stomach was aching with hunger. As he freed the last fish he was relieved but also apprehensive of his departure. This place was out of time, their sun was an unchanging glow, no one could intrude. It was so far away from the world that his time spent here felt unreal.

“You’re done?” Viktor sounded disappointed. Despite his exhaustion Yuuri was a bit disappointed as well. He didn’t want to leave like this.

“Yeah but I’m going to try something.”

Viktor tilted his head a bit, curious.

“It hurts you to use your hands doesn’t it?”

Yuuri took few strands and started putting together a plaited braid around Viktor’s forehead.

“I saw my sister do this once, it’ll prevent your hair from falling in your eyes,” Yuuri bit his lip, “I’m sorry it doesn’t look great. I’m not used to doing things like this.”

Viktor opened his mouth, didn’t say anything, closed it.

“Thank you,” he finally whispered, “It’s lovely.”

He raised his hand, awkwardly brushing Yuuri’s lips with his bruised thumb, his arm faintly shaking.

“I’m going to miss you.”

Yuuri didn’t draw back, only inhaled shakily. He knew he would miss him too.

No, he couldn’t say these three days passed in a heartbeat, not right now at least as he was almost too tired to think, and desperately starving.  
But that’s how it would feel during the months between his first and second visit.

 

* * *

 

When he returned to the cave for the first time in six months, submerging from the water and gasping for air, he felt like he could breathe better than he had been able to for a while.

The soft glow of the rocks was comforting to him now, and the faint noise of the water echoing in the cave was soothing. How could the three days and three nights he had spent here months ago make him long for this place so much? Probably because he wasn’t longing for the place. The blue glow he wanted to see belonged to soft eyes, not to cold rocks.

He heard the loud relieved sigh before his eyes had even fully adjusted to the relative darkness. His heartbeat sped up as he looked around for the source of the sound, and saw Viktor. His face was expectant, he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but nothing came out. Without thinking Yuuri started wading quickly in his direction, splashing water loudly around him. Viktor still silent, opened his arms, waiting for him as he had for the past six months. They joined in a cold, desperate embrace, Yuuri’s hair and clothes dripping all over Viktor. He didn’t seem to mind and gently coaxed him to press his head against the junction of his neck and shoulder. He rubbed Yuuri’s back to help him warm up, making him shiver.

“I did miss you.” He whispered, but they were so close and the cave was so empty, he might as well have screamed it. It would have rang just as loud to Yuuri’s ears.

“I did too.”

Viktor’s gaze was soft, his voice softer.

“Being alone is harder when you know what you’re missing.”

Yuuri loosened his grip, lowering his gaze. Unable to look at Viktor. He didn’t know how to answer, it was so blunt.

He hid behind an excuse: “I have to start working.”

The braid he did the last time was almost completely undone and it made him wonder if it ended up being an annoyance rather than relief.

“You braid is a mess I hope it didn’t bother you too much.”

Viktor shook his head.

“Never.”

In this visit, the more time he spent with Viktor, the more Viktor seemed to open up. He wasn’t trying to hide things he hated behind a smile anymore. When he said “I wish so many people didn’t think they loved me.” He let himself show his sadness and grief, and Yuuri didn’t know how to comfort him. It wasn’t something he could relate to.

And it was with this in mind, he answered: “I wouldn’t have this problem.”

Viktor squinted, he looked confused, almost annoyed.

“What do you mean?”

Yuuri shrugged, unable to find a way to express his own feelings.

“I just meant I’m average. I’m not saying no one will ever love me but I don’t really know anyone who really does?”

“...What?” Viktor looked distressed at this point and Yuuri couldn’t fathom what in his words could have made him react in that way.

“Well I know your story and-“

He couldn’t finish his sentence, Viktor cut him off, his expression growing heated.

“Oh of course you’ve known about me for as long as I’ve known about you. The elders of your village love my story. They tell it to all their kids to frighten them, to teach them that honour and the greater good is more important than themselves, and how I’ve been punished for thinking otherwise. But as you were listening to these stories, warming yourself up by the fire, I was _stuck here_.”

Viktor’s words were shaky as tears started to cloud his eyes. Yuuri didn’t know gods could cry, he didn’t know they would look so beautiful as they did. Viktor’s face didn’t become red and blotchy, his nose wasn’t running. He looked as ethereal as ever, His tears were pearls and his eyes, tormented lakes. Seeing Viktor looking so hurt, partly because of him, made him feel worse than he ever had in his life. He wanted to fix it, he wanted to soothe him. He opened his mouth but before he could say anything Viktor started speaking again.

“No! I’m not done. Your father was here before you to tell me how proud he was of his son. After your birth, he wouldn’t talk about anything but you. How do you think I know about your dog? About how you can dance? About the joy you give to people who know you. Don’t you dare think that the story of your existence wasn’t the only source of warmth I’ve received for decades from another human being-” He paused.

“From- a- human being.”

“Viktor I-”

“Yuuri you are loved by so many and so much. Please never doubt of it. These people didn’t love me, they loved an idea they had of me. You are surrounded by people who truly love you.”

Viktor started wiping his tears with his wrists and Yuuri helped him, tenderly brushing his cheeks with his thumbs.

“I am sorry. I just have trouble seeing it.”

Viktor was calming down with each touch, he ended up pressing his cheek against Yuuri’s warm hand. His eyes were closed, his expression almost shameful when he finally replied:

“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have raised my voice.”

“And you?”

“Me?”

“Don’t you think you can be loved?”

He was silent before his expression crumpled, his broken hands coming to cover his face. After that Yuuri spent more time than he could recall caressing Viktor’s hair and shoulders as he lay crying in his lap, his breath cut short by his sobs.

 

* * *

 

“So soon after the last time?”

As Yuuri emerged from the water for the third time in his life, it had been barely four weeks since his last visit. Never had the sea been angry twice in the same month.

“I missed you.”

Yuuri walked over to kneel in front of him and Viktor greeted him with a hug.

“You can’t trap the ocean every time you miss me.”

Viktor smiled sweetly.

“Does that mean you would forbid me from trapping the ocean on a daily basis?”

Yuuri ended their embrace regretfully, his heart weeping in his chest. He was so afraid of disappointing Viktor and, as selfish as it may be, he was even more afraid of never seeing him again.

“Viktor, if you trap the fishes too often it means to the village elders that you are not happy with my work, and the village will have to send someone else.”

Viktor’s smile melted, his expression going blank.

“I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.”

Yuuri had hurt him again, he had made him close up and he hated it. He wanted to make Viktor happy so badly.

“I didn’t mean it like that, I’d be so happy if i could see you every day. I can try to come some nights maybe no one would notice, I-” he was fidgeting, his gaze moving left and right as if he were trying to find something, anything that would help him to free Viktor, a secret door, a hidden ladder. Anything.

“I’m afraid you would get tired of me pretty quickly.”

Yuuri frowned. He couldn’t let him believe that. Not even for one other second.

“I wouldn’t.”

“How can you be so sure of it?”

Yuuri hadn’t thought much about it, being in tune with his feelings wasn’t his speciality, he didn’t need excuses or reasons, not when his reason was sitting in front of him.

“Because… If there’s one thing I know it’s that I don’t want you to feel alone anymore, not now, not ever. I want to stay close to you because I feel like it’s where I belong even if the legend says you won’t ever be free.” He looked up at him, his expression steady.

“I don’t know how to call what I feel for you, it’s not clear nor precise but the only word I can come up with is… Love.”

There was silence, a fragile silence before a soft sound escaped Viktor as he started to cry. Each tear burning the strand of hair it fell on.

“That’s what they taught you? That I would never be free?”

“We…” Yuuri hesitated few seconds; “We were told that you were banished to the abyss, as empty as your heart for you are unable to love.”

Viktor was still crying, his expression unsure, but as Yuuri said that his sobs grew wetter. A laugh escaping him.

“They never told you the end?” he finally asked, he was smiling, and the fire of his tears kept running through his hair, setting him free of his prison.

“Tell me the end?” Yuuri asked, pushing the burnt strands aside to remove the weight that used to burden and imprison Viktor.

As he shook his head to remove the last ashes still present in his now short hair, he recited:

 

 _“In the abyss you are banished,_  
_For your humanity has vanished,_  
_Alone in your selfishness,_  
_Till someone dares to confess,_

 _Be it a brother or a sister,_  
_A friend or a lover,_  
_Allow them to give their love to thee_  
_And of joy, your tears shall set you free.”_

**Author's Note:**

> :)))))) guess who had that motherfucking song stuck in the head everytime they opened this damn document.  
> Hope y'all are singing Barbie girl by now
> 
> The story is inspired by the Inuit Legend of Sedna!
> 
> If you want another song more fitting to the fic my lovely beta would prob suggest [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSqLdmZC5zU)
> 
> Speaking of her I owe [Evermoriver](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Evermoriver/pseuds/Evermoriver) my life for the beta work she did 
> 
> [my tungl](http://salanayuniasis.tumblr.com/) if u wanna say hi
> 
> lov the sea the sea will lov u back uwu


End file.
